Ok, so my sister Kristin always seems to be drawn to movies with dumb plots and a weak cast with a predictable ending. Thus was the situation with "Twilight." Robert Pattinson plays Edward Cullen, an awkward high schooler who has an unusually pale pallor and is socially awkward. Bella is a new girl who moves to the cloudy depths of Forks, Oregon to live with her father because her mother has married some dude and they are going to move to Florida and Florida seems like a shitty place to live in. If I were Bella, I would've chosen Florida, I mean come on, Miami is there. Fuck Forks. I've never heard of Forks, and I don't even know if Forks even exists. I also hate forests, because they have like, trails and lots of dirt and seriously, no one wants to be around 50 bazillion pine needles all the goddamn time. Anyway, so you find out that Edward has the hots for Bella in two ways: not only does he think Bella is hot shit, but he also wants to eat her blood because she smells yummy. Blah blah blah, Edward never appears in the sunlight because his skin sparkles (seriously what the hell, I mean really). Then all the sudden Bella becomes a member of Edward's vampire family. Slightly typical, but it was really touching how Bella and Edward became so tender towards each other, and how accepting the Cullens were towards Bella. That's basically it, besides this weird baseball scene where the Cullens play when the weather is full of lightning and thunder and a vampire show down in Bella's old dance studio. This movie is not worth the $8 I wasted, but I guess it was entertaining.
But seriously, Forks? Really?
Sunday, November 30, 2008
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