i can really quit being stupid now

i really enjoy those epiphanies or moments of clarity you seem to randomly get right when you need it. like how i've had a thorn lodged in my neck for the past month and was too dumb to realize that i needed to just pull that shit out instead of slowly twisting it one way while gently pulling in hopes of dislodging it that way. but this is all figurative speak, but realistically i've decided i'm finally done trying in the best way i know how to "make things ok again" because there's no such status. and try as i might, i know i've been saying "ok this is THE time i am really done" just to find myself stuck in the same ditch two days later, but i am trying to run on my own self-determination so things can REALLY be alright for me, and only me.