spring sucks.

fall is always more momentous for me, because it marks the end of the season of ease and being laid-back. in addition, my birthday usually falls around that time too (along with yom kippur!). the transition from winter to spring kind of fills me with dread, and i'll tell you why.

ever since i've become aware of the concept of having a significant other, it seems that in the spring, everyone is hooking up and entering new relationships. that's everyone, minus me. certain years i don't care, some years i do. i think this year, i kind of do, but not to the extent i am going to depress myself over it. reflecting on past experiences makes me jealous of new lovers and i view their statuses as something i envy. i don't know if i necessarily feel lonely, but i crave affection, the idea of not going to bed alone, and things like that. ok, nevermind. i don't want to admit it, but i guess i am lonely after reading what i just said.



i think my problem is that i (well, at least i think i do) carry myself with such confidence and self-assurance that it puts people off that i really want nothing more than someone to hold, to kiss, to love.