alkdsjfh.

i think i end up making things stressful; i have been home for one day and already i feel overwhelmed with things to do, people to see, obligations to fulfill. there is something severly really off-balance with me STILL and i don't know, it's aggrivating but i can't act out on it. i still feel as apathetic as before; i wonder when this will stop. i am increasingly spending my time in solitude, which i prefer because it's the least stressful option. but there's an element that friends fill with their company and it's a difficult trade-off for me because there will be pressure to do things i don't want to do. music has become an opiate for me, i have had an affinity to listening to music and doing absolutely nothing but listening for hours on end.

i need to get out of my house and quit being so anti-social.