ha!

you care to not notice
what is in front of you.
unfortunately,
that is
a travesty.
be engulfed
in psuedo-happiness,
i

don't

care.

i have my words,
i have my thoughts.
i have good company
and i can fall back on my own
shrewd mind
to get me from
here

to

there.

but wait,
what do i know?
i break after
each relationship.
well, i try not to.
but it is difficult,
to say the least.
i blame my fear,
my fear of solitude,
of

being

completely

alone.

it's a journey
from knowing someone,
to loving someone,
to looking at the deceased.
i

love/hate

every goddamned

second.

fuck this dependency,
condemn your flirtations away,
these interpersonal relationships
turn out to be so inane,
it is torturous.
i

don't want

(i do want)

you.