i don't want to admit this to myself,

drugs are in my bloodstream
all the goddamn time.
what is the next two weeks
worth to me?
i never look at
four months from now,
or two years from now.
i care about now, the next hour,
the next day,
and quite possibly the next week.

it's simple, really.
all i have to do is throw the pills away.
out of sight, out of mind--
but i am not going to lie,
temporary escapes are
oh...so satisfying.
i am denying
i have a drug problem.
i can't.
i won't.

i need a drink.