illusionary moments

drugs as an escape,
you thought you were over and done with it.
oh well, once a drug abuser,
always a drug abuser.
swallowing pills to make the physical pain
dissipate, dissolve, diminish--
it's easy enough to understand.
"it's an easy escape," someone put it.
"masking your feelings with drugs shows
no self-respect; how do you expect people
to respect you?" another one said.

it's not like you'd understand anyway,
personal battles are so complex and twisted.
the feeling of floating away from your body,
sinking into the floor, leaving everything
and everyone behind--it's a vacation from yourself.
for a couple hours to not be in pain and to
not feel the pressure inside your head,
or an aching body, a crushed heart,
or a depressed mind is absolutely
inexplicable!

acetominophen, lexapro,
hydrocodone, ibuprofen, tramadol,
clonozepam...chemically speaking,
they are your only friends.